November 2006

In the literary world Mother knows best

As hard as it is to believe, I have been writing a monthly column for the Blair Business Mirror for the past eight years.

In case you missed any of them, you can go online and google either “unexplained phenomena” or “obstacles to literacy.”

Or you can call my mother and she’ll mail you a laminated copy.

Actually that remark about my mother is not true. Beyond the obvious pride she feels that I was actually able to acquire gainful employment, I often get the impression that she would like to make constructive criticism about my writing but can’t bring herself to do it.

She probably has good reason.

If there is one area of common interest that we share it is the written word. My mother has a degree in English and taught that subject, both on a fulltime and a substitute basis, for several years. She loves to write, has been published in local and national periodicals and possesses impeccable knowledge of grammar and its proper usage.

I, on the other hand, have a degree is Journalism and took the requisite courses in grammar without the same level of enthusiasm. My aspirations were geared toward sports writing, often relegated to the bottom of the literary food chain.

The amount of editorial license that I typically enjoy, especially in a column like this one, may paint a colorful picture for the average reader but I can assure you it is nails-across-the- chalkboard for my mother.

It’s great to finally have the upper hand. I’ve almost got the taste of lima beans and sweet potatoes completely out of my system. The timing really couldn’t be better.

You see, with all the publications that The Chamber utilizes to get the word out to its members, I can write to my heart’s content. The content of my writing strikes numerous chords, at least from those who take the opportunity to share their observations.

I marvel sometimes at the dichotomies. My writing is too bland, too colorful, too topical, too vague. I’m too controversial and too afraid to express an opinion. I’m too reluctant to give credit where it’s due and too enamored with business accomplishment.

Jay Strawmire of the Altoona-Blair County Development Corporation, a person of whom I have significant regard, says that the greatest shortcoming of my writing is that I talk about myself too much. He’s really not going to like this column.

While Jay and no doubt others have determined that a healthy dose of humility is a positive thing for me every now and again, I have to admit that I get pumped-up by the caliber of people who take the time to contact me about something that I’ve written. It’s never based on a life-changing experience but I have reason to believe that I have created an occasional health benefit.

For instance, Bob Eyer of Wessel & Company, a Johnstown accounting firm and active member of our Chamber, admittedly reads my column only when he is in the bathroom at his office. Has Mark Twain ever produced that type of regularity in one of his readers?

So I’ll keep writing, at least until that time when people whose opinions matter most tell me it’s time to stop. With all the really important things taking place in the world, I’m ashamed to say that I sometimes divert my prayers away from poverty and discord and ask for just a little more creativity.

Maybe with a few less dangling participles and a better grasp of pronoun usage, I can do the language proud.

Just like Mom.

Past Chamber Notes

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